Inspiring People I met in the journey of my life

Mr. Manohar Devadoss the famous artist with eyesight related challenges was one of the people who inspired me as a child. During my school days I had severe gynecological issues; that used to be really painful, tiring and depressing. There was an article in the Tamil magazine 'Ananda Vikatan' about Mr. Manohar and Mrs. Mahima, how they are managing their life with positive attitude despite the physical challenges. That gave me a lot of courage and hope. I started fighting back the ailments with a smile; in fact I even forgot that I am fighting. I took it just as a constraint to be handled.

In my college days I met Mrs. Indira Bhavani - our Tamil lecturer. She did not have children and her husband was on a job that required extensive travel that they met only a few days a month. Amidst her all the other constraints she was doing her Ph.D as well. On a fateful morning, she was paralyzed and could not move her right arm and leg. Her speech was impaired - her most critical asset! Doctors did not have much hope for her to be normal again. She proved all of their predictions wrong and revived back with even better clarity of thinking. She used her sickness period to listen to audio books, learn a language and when she got back to normalcy, she continued her research & completed her Ph.D. She wrote short stories, published poetry, helped students in all aspects.  She encouraged all the students to perform their best in fields of their choice. She gave different assignments to students that were unheard of in the past. Wow… that was inspiring… She could handle the high pressure times with such an ease, that made the problems appear much smaller than they actually were.

In work, I met Mrs. Sathya - a person who could smile at almost everything. Her husband passed away, leaving a teenage daughter and Sathya. Sathya's health was also posing a big risk for her; official life was not smooth either. Many of us were leaving the organization due to various reasons; as a result she had to handle operations with less no of people; customer-base was reacting differently; there were a lot of changes in the top management also around that time. She also had to manage serious betrayals from very close friends. Had it been any other person, he/she would have walked away from this situation. She had patience, she had the grace to forgive all those who were cruel to her. She even completed her Senior Management Program  from IIM during this hardest part of her life… I did not realize all this when I was working closely with her. I was in middle of my own set of problems both at my personal & official life and I was blind to many good things around me - including her. I was misinterpreting almost everything because of many negativities I had in my mind. After I quit that job and moved to another, I was thinking about many incidents in a totally new light. Really I am inspired with the tremendous learning I got from her. How to keep your calm in the middle of such a storm, how to be graceful despite the bad attitude of others, how to be firm while being gentle. Such an inspiring person…

In a work related travel, I met Mr. Robin B - who is cheerful in spite of the challenges he had to handle; I should say, I met Mr. Robin B and Mrs. Vanessa B, the lovely couple who have a bright outlook towards life. The way they took care of me, as their personal guest was really impressive - I was actually not their personal guest, I was just a colleague of Robin who was visiting their city on official purpose for a week. To be precise, to Vanessa, I was a total stranger from a different country, culture, with a totally different looks. Their hospitality was not the only best part though they were one of the best hosts. The more inspiring aspect was their ability to smile at life's challenges and uncertainties… They have a little son, whose brain growth was impeded by excessive fluid collection around the brain. When you meet them, you wont even see any trace of difficulties on their faces. I spent a week with them. They did not complain - not even once - about the difficulties involved though I could see the difficulties myself. They were treating both kids equally; they were giving their best to the children while enjoying their lives as much as possible; They were trying to manage their schedules in such a way that each of them will get their exclusive personal time. Wow… that was inspiring…

I am sure I would continue to meet more inspiring people on my journey. However these five are special to me. They opened new doors in my thinking. I was not looking at life like that before I met them, though I too have bounced back from many setbacks in life. Will power, determination, kindness, joyfulness and respect for others are the great lessons I learnt from them.

Though I have never met Mr. Manohar in person, I feel that I have met him and know him closely! Though Mrs. Indira Bhavani is not with us anymore, she is with me always! Though I do not work with Mrs. Sathya, I think of her almost every week and take inspiration to carry on with my life! Though I do not get to see the Bebbingtons, I connect with them mentally daily, whenever I see kids running around! They are all truly inspirational...

My school teachers

I remember my life from primary schooling - some parts are vague memories and some others are very vivid! But even today, if some one asks me who is your teacher, I would say two names - Mrs. Sarojini and Mrs. Sundarambal.

Mrs. Sarojini was my first standard and third standard teacher. Such a wonderrful teacher she was. She never scolded any of us, though many of the students were naughty.

Mrs. Sundarambal (I call her Sundarambal athai as she is my mother's close friend too) is an amazing teacher. I would remember the lessons she taught even today. She was very strict but was very fair. Strictly no favouritism at all. She was very kind too. I used to wonder how can somebody be very strict and kind at the same time; kind and fair at the same time. Many people I see today are nice but not fair; fair but not nice.... She is one of the rarest of rare people who could be kind and fair simultaneuously. She stood up against any injustice done to anyone - even if it did not affect her directly.

I read somewhere that from a teacher you learn subjects; from Guru you learn life. If that statment is correct, she definitely is one of my Gurus. She corrected many things on the fly; made me a confident person; not only me, there are quite a number of other students in this category!

Everyday I think of them. Before meditation, one is supposed to think and thank parents, gurus and god. I think of these two teachers every day; I pray that their life gives them good satisfaction that they move towards renounication; then to God and never to be born again (as per Hinduism that is the highest place one can ever get to).

The other teachers were also really good; it is just that I hold the above two close to my heart.

Mrs Kanthimathi was my Tamil teacher; I cried many times in her class; not because she scolded me or harassed me but because I melted down listening to her! If she teaches 'Silapathikaram', you would melt "seeing" Kannagi - crying and running through streets of Madurai; if she teaches 'Yesu kaaviam' you would cry seeing Jesus carrying the cross in front of his mother.

How can I forget Parvathi madam? She taught us maths. She was Headmistress of the school. She would have several other responsibilities also; but she used to borrow time from other teachers to teach maths for some more time (in addition to the time allocated to her as a maths teacher). She would do anything to make us learn maths. Her classes were interesting; her handwriting was so perfect that we used to feel bad to rub it off from the black board after her class.

A few of us went and asked her if she would retire before we came to 10th class! Only after she confirmed that she would teach maths in 10th standard there was a sigh of relief. Not sure how many teachers would have commanded this kind of respect from the students!!! She was too good!!!

I am what I am because of my teachers and my parents (they are teachers too)! I salute the teachers!

எது சரி?

"இன்னா செய்தாரை ஒறுத்தல் அவர் நாண நன்னயம் செய்துவிடல்" என்றொரு குறள் உண்டு. என்னுள் மிகப் பெரிய தாக்கத்தை எழுப்பிய, நான் கடைபிடிக்க முயற்சி செய்யும் குறள்களுள் இதுவும் ஒன்று; கடைபிடிப்பது மடத்தனமோ என்று குமுறும் குறளும் இதுதான்.

பல வருடங்களுக்கு முன், என்னுடன் மிகவும் அன்புடனும் அக்கறையுடனும் பழகிய சிலர் செய்த பிழையை, குறள் கூறும் கருத்தின்படி மன்னிக்க முடிந்தது. மூன்று வருடங்களுக்குப்பின் மீண்டும் அதே தவறு தொடர்வது தெரிந்தபோது ஆயுதம் எடுப்பது தவிர வேறு வழிஇருக்கவில்லை! அந்தப் பிழையின் ஆழமும் வீரியமும் அதிகரித்திருந்தது; இளைதாக முள்மரம் கொல்க களையுநர் கைகொல்லும் காழ்த்த இடத்து என்ற குறள்தான் மனதுள் ஓடியது!!

அந்த முள்மரம் கீறிய வலி இன்னும் இரணமாக நிற்கிறது...

இந்த இரண்டு குறள்களுள் எது சரி? இன்று இத்தனை வலிக்குப் பின், முள்மரம் உவமை சரியாகப்படுகிறது. ஆனால், 2009 -ல் முதல் குறள் சரியாகத் தெரிந்தது... யார் சொல்லியிருக்கக் கூடும் எது சரியென்று?

Immaculate Conceptions

I always had a great respect for Mother Mary and Devaki - the mothers of two great spiritual gurus- Jesus Christ and Krishna respectively. These two women withstood greatest pressure for their children and for the man kind!

Devaki witnessed seven of her children being killed right in front of her as soon as they were born; in spite of the killings, in spite of knowing that the next child also may be killed, she had to get ready for the next delivery... every time! I can imagine what kind of trauma she would have gone thru during this period; I wonder how much she would have been shivering inside in the last trimester of these deliveries! She must have been hoping and praying that her brother's mind changes...

It takes a lot of mental strength to handle this tragic events continuously... it must have taken a decade for all these eight deliveries to happen... how could somebody manage it for this long? After that too life was not peaceful; Krishna, the eighth child was left with another family staying far away; even then, the pressure continued by means of news about attempts to kill Krishna. I always used to think if she was crying all these years or she was a brave lady who could move on with life with a cheer!

Mary accepted the Immaculate Conception. But during pregnancy and after delivery too, she would have been wondering if her husband Joseph will accept her and the child. She would have been thinking of her fellow human beings who would ridicule her and her child. She had to give birth in a not so clean, not so comfortable place for having accepted the Conception. She could have just refused to accept the conception or she could have just thrown the child away as soon as he was born; but she did not! She went thru all the pain of being ridiculed; even after her child was grown up she had to see him crucified right in front of her! For others He is God or son of God; but for her He is her son, the one who she borne and brought up. How did she manage that pain? Was she crying all thru her life or she moved on with a cheer!

I salute both of these women for their ability to withstand the pain!

Great Indian Ship.... Continued

One of my friends asked me if I found only one common thing between Indian history and today's corporate world. As suggested by this friend, I am giving here a few of my views, or the parallels I could draw between Indian history (as known to me) and corporates in my observation. 

India had structured villages and towns that even had rain water harvesting about 2000/3000 years back. Some of the Indian buildings (temples) are even older than these villages. But today's buildings are not based on the Indian architecture neither use Indian technology! 

Ancient Indians believed in extensive documentation; they even documented how to breathe, how to bathe, how to eat etc. - the very basic things in life. After a point, the documentation reduced to cryptic form of writing and then was stopped finally for various reasons. The country started believing in passing on the best practices and knowledge through informal communication methods - gurus to disciples, fathers to sons and so on!! I guess, you can make out where the current world is... some companies encourage extensive documentation while others are moving away from documentation. Hope we learn from the Indian lesson and have decent level of documentation

Most of the medieval Indians believed that they have achieved heights of architecture & construction technology, as the buildings stood for centuries (unless demolished in a war with great difficulty of course). This can be compared to people who think that they are within the control levels, or they have got best team awards etc and hence the process is working in its best!! Large corporates should understand that there is always something to improve irrespective the best products they are launching. Thank god, so far the competition keeps the attitude for improvement intact for the sales and product design teams at least.

The other comparable aspect is, new religions. Yes, religions. Whenever there was a new religion in the country, they despised the already existing religions and suggested all new things. In the process communities, this attitude is very visible; whenever they start propagating new processes, they negate all already existing processes and models. Continuous improvement is needed definitely but it does not mean you need to undo all your current processes except in very rare cases.

Caste system is very prevalent in corporate world... hang on... do not pounce on me yet... I do not mean that they have the same castes as India. But they call them as horizontals and verticals or business processes and competencies or portfolios and job families. The name could be different but the concept is just the same. Indian caste system was also originally started to retain the knowledge of the jobs, identify best practices, improve them, develop appropriate tools etc. For example, the system even defined how to build houses for each job family - farmer should have a warehouse for paddy etc. but then, later it became so rigid that no one was allowed to switch jobs, change the way they built their houses or dresses even if they felt a need to. Today's corporate world also resists job family rotation considering the learning curve and associated cost involved. Only a few companies realize the need to rotate people between these job families to develop generalists also!! For any successful organization, both specialists and generalists are important.

The list would go on... I may continue after a while... I am stopping now as this comparison exhausts the mind. Being an Indian, digesting the fact that we could have done a lot better but we are still a developing nation is really hard. It is like despite having best of best vehicles in the world, having to move at snails pace because you have a lot of things tied to the car pulling it backward with equal or more power!!

Empathy

There was a talk show on TV a few months back on terminating the pregnancy when you know abnormalities in fetus growth. There were some mothers of special children, there were some women who had to terminate the pregnancy mid-way due to medical reasons and there were some social workers who fight against terminations.

One of the social workers accused a woman for terminating selfishly!! The social worker has a daughter and son in good health looks like. I wonder if he will ever understand the feeling of a lady who had to lose / terminate for medical reasons. What she had done is not a selfish act; in fact, that is the most selfless act. For her pleasure of having a child, if she continued, she would have had a child; but the child would have suffered the life time. Probably she would never have a child in her life at all; she would not even know when she is asked to take the decision!! Of course for some people, having a child is a status symbol – like having a car or house – they can decide quickly!!! But for those who genuinely want a child, it is the most difficult decision… because scan / tests are only indicative; miracles may happen and the child would be normal or the scans are right and the child suffers forever. I don’t think the social worker would ever understand this… because their fight is against the status symbol cases and illegitimate terminations and unfortunately they generalize the feeling.

A mother of a special child cried that she wants her life to be extended as much as her child’s as the child can’t do anything on her own. One woman who had to terminate said that she used to search for the child for several years after that incident as if the termination never occurred. I had done that too… for about five or six years…. I used to look for resemblance with me / my husband or my parents or his parents in all the kids as if I am trying to identify my child after she got lost in the crowd. I do not think the social worker would ever understand this feeling.

You may wonder why am I writing about something that I saw a few months back!! Someone wanted to forecast maternity leave in the team and was upset that information was not available earlier (even before it was confirmed!! ridiculous!!!). This person must have got children soon after marriage just as a byproduct. I am wondering if this person will ever understand that there are some things in life you can never forecast!! I can understand that people may not be able to empathize but it is unfortunate that they do not even consider the other human beings!!! Hats off to the prediction models and estimation models of the world!!!

The great ancient Indian ships and today's corporate world

Though western world wants to believe and wants the world to believe that it was Columbus and Vasco da Gama who set out to see the world, there were Indian scripts dating 2000 years back found in Oman, Egypt and a few other countries!!!

What is even more surprising is, a country that did so much of trade and traveling so early did not progress after a period!! Obvious reason is, they stopped making continuous improvements and started believing that come what may, they have to follow the standards - which were originally best practices documented / passed on by the previous generations!!!

One can see interesting similarities between this attitude of medieval Indians and today's corporates. These corporates hold their processes close to their hearts, claim that they are the best ever processes and those processes need to be followed come what may!! Of course there are certain things you HAVE to follow like - do not kill someone, do not steal etc.. Please note those are values... not processes...

Following processes has gone so much into some people that they fear any new things for there is a flip-side to it. I was casually talking about my blog to someone yesterday; another person jumped in to say I may be sued if I blog as someone was sued last week for writing something about the Finance minister. This is exactly the attitude that killed innovation and progress in medieval India. 

Yes, ships will be safe in the harbors; but they are not designed for that purpose!!! If the ancient Indian sailor and trader had thought about being killed in a foreign land, we could not have discovered those Indian scripts 2000 years later in Egypt or Middle East!!

It is up to us whether we want to risk and be great or be in comforts and die mediocre!