Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Lessons learn 2 - Be open and always speak the truth of your heart

This is easier said than done. Many times I feel / felt like telling a pleasant lie rather than telling the bitter truth. But whenever I broke this rule and told a lie or tried hiding my feelings / believes it came back haunting me. The effort and time I wasted to cover up was much larger than what I would have spent telling the truth. I also see other people who suffer a lot in an effort to cover up their lies

Here is a good example: I am a Hindu married to a christian. There was a lot of pressure from so many people that I get converted to Christianity. I knew at my heart that it would be the biggest lie if I get converted for the wedding's sake. I decided not to get married at all, after the six long beautiful years of courtship. It was a very hard decision. It hurt me, my parents, my boy friend (my husband now). But I told everybody that I can not tell a lie in the church that I am a christian when I am a Hindu by heart and believes. Finally, my in laws accepted for a 'non-religious' wedding. There were no rituals at all in the wedding. Today, I am free to go to a temple or a church without hesitating and without looking for permission from people. I celebrate Diwali and Christmas with the same enthusiasm.

But one of my friends (who is also a Hindu got married to a christian) is facing a lot of problems. She got converted as a christian for the wedding. She was not able to change mentally and wants to go to temples and celebrate Diwali. She can not do this with others' knowledge. She is either upset that she could not celebrate or she is guilty that she celebrated. Either way, she is unhappy. So strongly feel it is better to speak out your mind than hiding it.

There were times when I made excuses (of course they are NOT true - no excuse in this world is true as you know) and spent my time worried in getting caught. Another big problem with these excuses is, you have to remember the story for rest of your life    :-) and you have to be very careful about not telling any story (be it real or fake) that would contradict with the earlier story.

I can give lots and lots of example where I told a lie and then dropped / missed opportunities, lost trustworthiness. All of us know this truth. A lie may seem to have solved a problem but it actually would have added fuel to the problem; it is just that you do not know that you have added fuel. I bombs at a time you expect the least.

So how-much ever hard it may seem, speak the truth and face the consequence rather than telling a lie and living in fear & despair
Meet you with the next lesson shortly.

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