Sunday, August 27, 2017

No follow-up…

I knew there will be quite a bit of follow ups and discussions on my previous article. Many of you have felt that though other forms of disrespect are bad, they are not as bad as having another relationship. While I am absolutely fine with you having that view, to me, living with a husband who gets into other forms of disrespect, who affects the mental peace and/or blocks the intellectual progress is as hurtful/distasteful as living with a husband who has another relationship  (If you are a male, please replace the word "husband" with "wife" and read the sentence again). Though a good relationship should be like adding sugar to milk, with the current topic, the question seems to be which poison is better to be added with milk; my answer will be neither; and if you choose one of the poisons as better, what can I say!! People listing all bad behaviours, comparing them and worst of all, defending them as better than one another tires me. So I am not going to write a follow up with my points against each of your arguments. Let us agree to disagree!!

Having said that, as always, I would like to look at positive side of life in spite of all the potential negatives!! Though I called/call all forms of disrespects as adultery (including the ones normally called so), I also believe that anything can be improved, provided there is genuine interest and careful attempt by both the partners. After all, today is the first day of the rest of your life!! 

Caring (just not care giving, they are different BTW), respecting each other, respecting each other's freedom, trusting, being trustworthy, living up to the commitment given and all other such fundamentals of maintaining a relationship are all skills / competences that one can/ needs to develop. Please note a. I am generalising quite a bit here - these aspects apply to all types of relationships - personal, familial, professional, social etc. b. the list is not exhaustive. Changing a behaviour and improving the skill need constant nurturing and practice. Which means, all the aspects listed above can be improved with conscious and consistent effort provided the individual (in this case, usually, it is individuals) recognizes the need for improvement. But, if one keeps defending the bad behaviours, they will never be able to improve. Choice is left with the individuals!

I wish you good luck with whatever you choose to do… improving or staying stuck… 

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