When I wrote "வண்ணமில்லா வண்ணம்" I sort of anticipated a follow up!! I was smiling while
replying sometimes and was not sometimes!! The comments fall into a huge range
from are you trying to copy Steve Jobs who wears the same color to save time
and energy spent on decision making, to you like black so what is the big deal
about it, to how are you handling the heat in the summer, to giving me some
nick names :-)
First of all, I am
not copying any one and Steve Jobs is definitely not my idol/hero. My heroes
wore / wear all colors!! My biggest hero, my dad, does not like black. I
know he is accepting my vow only halfheartedly! The day when we went shopping for black outfits, he did not choose not even one though he stood by me the whole
hour! Yes, I said hour! It is not saving time at all!! There is not much black
collections in the stores! Not many people wear black after all! So searching for fitting,
professional looking black outfits takes more time than my usual shopping with
all colors! Of course, I would have loved to save time like Steve jobs did; but
unfortunately that is not working! I usually buy for the entire year in one go
so that I don’t have to spend time shopping often. But because of the limitation induced by the
color choice, I will have to go more often than once a year, looks like. So, there is
absolutely no gain in terms of time. I have my decision making techniques sort
of set and hence there is no change in the amount of energy / time spent from
that perspective.
Sure, black is one
of my favourite colors. But, I do like other colors too. More importantly, as a
person, I never liked to be constrained
in any ways but now I am! I never liked to give power to anyone or anything to
stop me from doing anything I like! But now I can't wear something even if I
like it! I do not like to be generalised but now I am… the lady in black,
blacky, black beauty (depending on how close the other person is and ;-) also
how they perceive me)! With yesterday, it is exactly three months since I started this. I have got several
nick names that generalise me already! The heat is increasing by the day and it is
getting harder and harder. However, I have decided to continue till I see what
I want.
Though the three
months had been tough in many ways as mentioned above, there are several good
insights, I wanted to share and hence the follow up :-) Some of
my theories about life changed, challenged and and some got confirmed!
Black is one of my
favourite colors, so wearing it should ideally give me joy. But it did not!
There is no excitement about the color anymore!! Sure, while shopping I surf
for blacks but that is a different filter and not an immediate attraction to
the outfit as it used to be. Interesting!
The next one is going to be a contradiction of the above statement. I
believed that any suppression is dangerous and it will come out nastily.
Interestingly, this belief changed almost completely. Since February, I have
been suppressing my interests / desire to wear many of my clothes. But nothing
happened and I do not seem to have any feelings for other colors anymore!! So,
what decides the likes and dislikes? What is meant by suppression? How
different it is from self-control? Is it the same as the difference between
starving and fasting?
Nonchalantly, I was
able to gift all my other coloured clothes. Only a few items are retained for
sentimental reasons. I guess, I will gain the will to gift even those few
"important" ones! What gives the
strength to gift the most loved / liked items to others? Donating all-new items
is easier than donating items that you loved and used; there is an affinity
towards them and there are stories behind most of them… I could withstand that
pressure mostly - except for the select few. I am still wondering what gave me
the strength to do this?
Another interesting
observation is about who all observe. The common belief is women pay more
attention to details and observe clothes more than men!! That belief was proven
wrong and I do have data points observed over the last 90 days! My male friends
and colleagues realised it quicker than my female friends and colleagues; they
were able to recognize this in the first week itself - to be precise from the
fourth day there were feedbacks, questions and remarks from men and only from
the 9th day from women! So far, the number of remarks from men is 1.5 times
higher than that of women, and this is
in spite of the fact that more housekeeping women became more friendly with me
and they all remarked!! The number of remarks from men being high could be
because of the higher number of men in the organization but quicker feedback
from them still seems to be a valid observation to disprove the common belief!
But there was no sadness in men (except my dad and one of my friends) when I
said I will wear only black going forward; but invariably all women felt sad
:-) interesting!! Other observation is about the assumptions people make! More
women asked if it was a religious reason and assumed that I am praying for
getting a child ;-) and more men assumed that I have become an atheist!! What a
stark difference!
I may follow up
again after a year or so and I hope that by then, this would have come to an
end!
