Inky Pinky Ponky?!?!?

Yet another follow up article! It is the continuation of Sea Shells!! I guess, this is going to be a series!!

The first question I raised to myself was how many baskets can I have in my truck! This article is all about that decision. How did I decide? How did I know the optimal number; is there a formula? Can I do better? How do I know which baskets get to stay and which are to be thrown?  Was I able to throw a basket just because I don’t like it?

What is the magical number? Hmm… interestingly, there is no formula for the number of baskets and it varies from person to person and time to time! It is comparable to juggling! How many balls can you juggle? It is not the same number of balls for all jugglers. Even for the same person, it could vary depending on their energy levels at different points in time! So, each person has to decide how many they can manage! Decide on the minimum manageable number and consider a few stretches to see if you can do better!

Which baskets get to stay?  I looked for the ones I love to have first and then looked for the ones I have to have for my survival. Intersection of both these categories had the most essential baskets - the ones I will never throw away! The first picks! The second set is the ones I have to do for my survival even if I don’t love to retain. Philosophers like Jittu and Osho will say stop doing something if you don’t like it - whatever it maybe! But in real life, for a common person like me, it is very tough. The third set is the stretch category is, the ones I love to do but need not do. I am trying my best to get rid of  / work around for the second set so that I will have room for the third set. After all, what is life, if you cant do what you love to do! The fourth category is a clear throw - I don’t love and I don’t have to do! It was interesting to see how many such items were sticking around!

Am I already successful in emptying my truck? Yes and no!! :-) Mentally, I have emptied my truck. But in reality, not yet! In life, many times, it is difficult to get rid of things that quickly. So, how can someone handle such situations? Some of the items can be comparable to riding a tiger! You may not be able to get off the tiger that easily! A few others are not that hard! But they are like a fast moving conveyor belt. For you to get off the belt, you need to have a great balance and you need good amount of preparation for gaining that kind of a balance. You may also be worried about impacting things around the belt that'd be disturbed when you jump out.  Moving things around to minimize the impact is necessary. The next point is, you may not have support system that can give you the balance while jumping. If you don’t have one, you need to create one. Till then, you'd most likely end up managing more than your WIP (Work In Progress) limit & choke every now and then. When you are in the high pressure zone to resolve such bottlenecks, it is better to take time to breath deeply, do some physical exercises too. All these may sound counterintuitive, because they add to the items to be juggled. But, if the juggler is not fit, they cant even juggle half their usual capacity!

To make room for all these, you may want to pass a few balls to another juggler, you may shelve some balls temporarily, or throw the balls so very high up so that they take longer time to come back to you for the next round! If you don’t put in conscious effort to resolve these bottlenecks, it is going to be tough in the longer run. You will start dropping the balls here and there. You need to learn to manage the impact of dropped balls.

More than dropping the balls, it is deciding which ball to catch next, that tires people! We use the same mental energy pool for making decision irrespective of the size of the decision. More and more you drain this pool, even a  small trigger could set fire to your emotions! So, it is better for anyone to limit the WIP so that you are not under constant pressure to make decision! It was very tiring for even someone like me who prefers to take my own decisions. If you are someone who would go by others' decisions usually and end up in this kind of situation, it can drain you faster. (BTW, in this process, I figured out why I spend very little time buying clothes :-) Because I prefer to decide for myself, I need to reserve this pool for taking bigger decisions and I do not want to spend that energy in deciding which saree to buy! Possibly this can be another article by itself :-) :-) The art of choosing not to choose!!). The point is, more the number of balls, quicker the energy gets depleted. Of course, what is "more" is person dependent.

Is it only hard feelings when you try limiting WIP in personal life? I do not think so. Many times, it feels hard. But it is pretty much comparable to business world or sports. It was like doing sit-ups; while practicing situps, it hurts, but later you get stronger. Downsizing the organization hurts; but focusing on core business gives you an opportunity for revival, success and excellence. Similarly, at the end of resolving the bottlenecks, you would feel stronger that you are in better control of what is going on. I would think, it was an interesting journey! It made me understand what I really love, in other words, what is my core! Sure, I was irritable on some days, tired on few other days during the exercise. But I feel more confident now. I should agree that my motivation level has gone up. I am glad, I went through this exercise!! I am sure, if it was an inky pinky ponky decision, I wouldn't have got these benefits!!

Sea Shells on the Sea Shore!

What do I want in life is a question I asked myself several times - especially in the recent past. It is an interesting question from the fact that the answers keep changing at different points in time in life. This question kept/keeps me going since childhood, I should say. However, there seems to be a slight (should I say huge?!?) difference; earlier it used to be what do I want next and now it is what do I want in life!

What do I want next was an easier question to answer.  Based on what I wanted, I had to choose one option out of the available options or I had to create an option. But when the timescale increases to life, the question gets overwhelming! At least, it feels like it to me :-)

I sat down to list the non-negotiable big ticket items. Hmm… the moment we add the adjective "non-negotiable" and increase the timespan, the mind set changes. Ideally it should reduce the number of items in that category; but the opposite happens. Wow! Just with a small twist in the question, response can change completely. I wrote two pages of items and the list may probably continue for two more -maybe many more :-) Interestingly, with my coaching hat on, nonchalantly, I ask the teams to choose a few items they really want to focus on. Here I am, like a little girl on the seashore,  trying to collect as many as sea shells that my palms can hold! My palms are full, my pockets are full, my baskets are full but there are still more attractive sea shells on the sea shore , it felt like :-)

I threw the two pager out! I emptied my baskets, pockets and palms tried to observe which one of these shells makes more sense to me! I realised, hmm…. hang on… I don’t even like my baskets in first place and the way my baskets are placed is not that very convenient for me! Okay, let me look at my truck that holds my baskets! I threw all my baskets out of my truck! Then it became a lot easier. I knew the size and shape of my truck; I knew how much space I want to leave for taking on new baskets on the way; I chose only a few baskets to be in my truck. Now, I am in the process of collecting the shells I like! At the end of this exercise, I felt, I may not know my north star yet, but I have a compass and I know my north!

The key lesson from this exercise is, limiting "Work In Progress" (WIP) makes sense only when there is time context. If time is left open, the term limit has no relevance and it can result in endless list unless we are careful about prioritization! Mismanaged WIP at the life level will seriously influence the decisions we make daily, weekly, monthly and yearly! Some people may find it easier to create near-endless list and then consolidate them into categories and others find it easier to look at it top down. Either way, if you have pages and pages of items, or truck full of shells, it is going to be too tough; it is better for you to limit them. You cant have too many balls in the air in the juggling business after all!

Business world calls it Lean! psychologists call it personal effectiveness! Common man calls it life balance! Whatever you call it, the key is to limit the WIP at all levels!

100th Article

Technically the last article was my 100th article. But four articles were pulled back and movedto draft status for the following reasons

1. three of them were mere translations and not my views. 

2. I myself could not stand the negativity of the fourth article :-)

So, this one is my 97th article not 101st!

It is going to be 7 years since I started blogging! 100 articles in seven years is not a big deal! It works out to be an article a month; may be a little more - four articles a quarter! But it feels good :-)

I am looking back! This has been a wonderful experience! The range of emotions I went through before and after I wrote each of these articles is pretty large! Mostly, feelings like gratitude, happiness, anger, frustrations, surprise, urge to share the lessons etc. triggered the articles. After I wrote them, it was a different set of emotions!  But the driving factor for most of the articles is some level of dissatisfaction with something or the other. Maybe, it is a good idea for me to look at some metrics related to this aspect :-)

More than these emotions, I am happy about a few learnings about me!

1) In this whole process, I discovered how I choose the language of my articles!

2) I learnt how to use these blogs to communicate with people! In fact, instead of spending time explaining my views on a topic, I share my blog link if I have already written about it. If not, I consider writing an article if the topic is worth. This is an interesting development in the last one year after a mentor suggested to use the blogs to communicate. Interestingly it is working well and it saves a lot of time explaining my stance!

3) My reader circle expanded and included very close associates. My parents, aunt, cousins, teachers and colleagues became my readers. When I started writing, I thought  I was able to write my mind without masking anything only because readers did not include any known people and the moment some known people start reading my blogs, I may start masking. But interestingly, except for just one article out of the 97, I did not need a mask! I was my natural self and did not feel like hiding anything!! I like it that way!! Hmm….

4) More than negative criticism, appreciations made me more nervous about my writing skill!  Though I smiled and thanked those who appreciated, my mind usually drifted off to thinking about my writing skill and the mistakes I have made in the article. Interesting!

5) I cant say that my writing skill has improved significantly as a result of writing for such a long period! Maybe average article count is too low for making reasonable improvement! points 4 and 5 are contradicting each other! hmm... interesting!

6) Many of my friends (readers) are also debataholic (nice word, isn't it) like me. I ended up writing follow up articles as a result!

Thank you all for the patronage! As always, feedback, suggestions and questions are welcome!

Shameless…….

Ha! It is tiring to be in the same state for centuries together! It is even more stressful, if we think of the great thinkers and philosophers this country had a few millennia back and where we are in our ability to think!! In a country where a king was ready to crush his own son to death as a punishment for killing a calf, where a king died on spot realizing the wrong judgement he gave, there is a judgment asking the victim to marry her rapist! It is even more annoying to listen to or read the supporting arguments for the judgement! Some one proclaims that the judge has given this judgement with a fatherly affection! Oh my! What else can we expect from a crowd that gave two National Awards to a movie like Pudhiya Paadhai? As a society, are we losing sense of what is just and what is not?

We go to an extent of deciding what someone should eat and ban eating beef but have no such feelings about consuming alcohol! Of course, consuming alcohol is also personal and others do not have a say in it. But, it is harmful to health, it affects the mental stability, ability to work and ultimately the economy and atmosphere at home! So the family can ask someone to stop consuming alcohol. When it comes to eating meat, even the family can not and should not influence the personal choice of an individual! We get this mixed up! Government sells liquor and bans beef! We do not seem to understand the intrusions into other's personal space!

We want to fight against "Yoga day", but we are okay to celebrate all the other "days"! We are okay to dance till midnight on the new year's eve & the like and we are okay to burst crackers to disturb those who do not celebrate! But we are not okay for a group of people to gather to improve fitness!

Our undergraduate and graduate students will fight for the right to kiss in public but no such protests against inefficient teaching, inadequate labs, libraries, or other improper infrastructure at the higher educational institutes! Are we losing our sense of priority?

How do we shake this country to think properly?!

ஆள்வினை

I bumped into a TED talk today! I am glad I did! It is a talk by Sam Berns. It made me think, wow, how often do we think that the problems in our lives are bigger than us! And here is a young man, who understood life so very well and lived every single moment happily despite anything else!! Sam had a strange decease called Progeria - a rare decease that accelerates aging. Only about 350 people are affected by it in the entire world and there is no cure for it!

Here is the gist of the video 1) I choose to focus on activities I can do, and make adjustments so that those activities that I love to  do but in the cant do category move to the can do category. 2) Surround myself with people I want to be with - especially people of high quality who are energetic, enthusiastic, empathetic. 3) Keep moving forward! No point in looking backwards! We open new doors by moving forward 4) never miss a party :-)

The positive energy Sam radiates is awesome! The smile on his lips, voice and eyes puts all those crib and cry for simple issues to shame!  When I watched the video, I did not know that Sam has passed away!! He passed away last year - a few months from the recording. Hmm… How long we live does not matter! How we live is the only thing that matters!! I don’t know if Sam was thinking about all his unfulfilled dreams when he died but I am sure he would  not have regretted that he should have lived a better life! That is a big achievement!

I am comparing it with my life! Of course, the challenges I handle are not that big or not that cruel as the ones Sam had to face! But then, size of the problems does not matter that much as the reaction to the problems! From that sense the comparison is reasonable!!!

The questions I keep asking myself are, if I have to leave this world today, what will I take with me and what do I want to feel. I am happy that I have a life I do not regret at all! Like Sam puts it and like all of you, there are things in life I love to do but I can't do, I have learnt to accept them; if there is something I can turn positive, I give my best shot ! I am blessed to be with magnificent human beings who support me as much as they can. And I am very  choosy about whom to be with; I stay away from those who start a "why me" story. I stop to reflect but not to regret! I have realised that, ultimately what matters is the enthusiasm with which we lead our lives daily and the effort we put in to make things better! I think I acquired this attitude  from Thirukkural!

Thirukkural dedicates an entire chapter to ஆள்வினை- enthusiasm and effort. I like all the 10 couplets. But I have a favourite kural (618) that  is in the big poster on my wall!

பொறியின்மை யார்க்கும் பழியன்று அறிவறிந்து

ஆள்வினை இன்மை பழி.

The other side of the coin!!!!

This week has been a mix of emotions for me! This probably is the strongest! 

This article is a continuation of a couple of articles 1. Why Sukanya? 2. Brainwashing attempts. The trigger was a WhatsApp message that depicted the relationship of a senior male politician with an actress turned politician as an unprofessional one. I was taken aback for the nth time by this text received this evening! When I wrote my earlier articles, I was not this furious.  I should say, I was biased to an extent or in other words, I did not consider the other side of the coin that much!

I am thinking of the comment on chief minister's  letter to the prime minister on the fishermen's issues. That was an expression of an ugly mind. The only reason for the comment is, the chief minister and the prime minister are of different gender! It is the same case with today's WhatsApp text too. The political leader referred to is above 80 years old and the actress is above 45 years old. How can someone think of such a relationship between the two!

This annoying message I got today was sent by another lady, that too with a smiley! It made me even more furious.  She is working in IT industry; so she doesn't have a choice but to work with men. And, she comments this way on another woman!  Isn't it a shame?!?  Isn't it an expression of a biased dirty mind!?!

I'm seriously considering adding a few more  questions  to women as part of my Why Sukanya article.

1. Can you not trust other women to be as genuine as you are? If not, how do you expect others (including your spouse) to trust you?

2. Do you really understand how the world will go with your negative comments about another woman; that is, if you make a statement about another woman, that statement is valued as truth more than a similar statement made by a man? Have you read about the research done related to this? Do you care?

3. Do you know how your arbitrary comments can impact another woman's confidence, choices and decisions - More the genuineness, more the impact is! Just a remark from you can change someone's major decision and impact them for the entire lifetime! What will you do if it is on you, your daughter or sister?

4. Do you know that you are actually stopping your own progress - by making 1) genuine men more scared by such comments 2) other men exploit innocent women (by getting them worried about such statements)? 

5. The text message could/may have been created originally by a man who wants to stop women from joining politics or becoming more popular in politics or winning. Can you not use your brain before forwarding such Brainwashing attempts?

I am FURIOUS! Can we not teach humans to be humans and use their brain before acting?

இசைத்தமிழ்

முத்தமிழுள் இசைத்தமிழும் இயற்றமிழும் கவர்ந்த அளவிற்கு நாடகத்தமிழ் ஈர்க்கவில்லை. ஒருவேளை, இயலும் இசையும் தேவையான கதை சொல்லியதால், நாடகம் தேவைப்படவில்லையோ என்னவோ! எழுதுவதற்கு இயல் கைகூடினாலும், படிக்க இசையே அதிகம் கவர்கிறது!

இசைத்தமிழென்றால் அது கம்பனாகவோ, வள்ளுவராகவோ பாரதியாகவோதானிருக்கவேண்டும் என்பதில்லை. கூத்தின் நடுவே வரும் திரையிசையாக இருந்தாலும் அது இனிமைபயப்பதாகவே  தோன்றுகிறது! திரையிசையை ஒரு சின்னத்தீக்குச்சிக்குத் தின்னகொடுக்க நினைத்த வைரமுத்துவே பழைய பனையோலைகளில் எழுதியபின் திரைக்காக கவியெழுதும்பொது என்போன்றவர்கள் ரசிப்பதில் வியப்பென்ன?

ஒப்புமை சரியில்லை என்று இலக்கியவாதிகள் போர்க்கொடி தூக்கலாம்! பாரதியின் காதல் கவிதைகளை வாசிக்கும்போதும் தேசபக்திமிகும்; அவர் கண்ணம்மா தனியிருப்பாதாக சிறையிருப்பதாகப் பாடினாலும், அது இந்தியத்தாய் சிறையிருப்பது கண்டவேதனையாக நம்மால் எளிதில் உணரமுடியும்; ஆனால் வைரமுத்து தாய் மண்ணே வணக்கம் எனப்பாடினாலும் அதில் தாயன்பு தெரிவதைவிட தேசப்பற்று தெரிவதைவிட காதல் வழிவதாய்த்தான்படும் என்ற கருத்து கட்டாயம் வருமென அறிவேன்! ஆனால், ஒப்பீடு கவிகளுக்கிடையே அல்ல! எனவே, நண்பர்காள்! இதுகுறித்த வாதம் தவிர்ப்போம்! :-)

தமிழின்கூறுகளில் இசைத்தமிழ் மற்ற இரண்டையும் தன்னுள் அடக்கியிருப்பதாகத்தோன்றுகிறது! நாலடியில், இரண்டடியில் உலகஞானம் அளிப்பது இசைத்தமிழின் உயர்வன்றோ? அதுமட்டுமல்ல, ஒருவரியில் கதை சொல்லும் வலிமையும் இசைத்தமிழுக்கு மட்டுமே இருப்பதாகப்படுகிறது. சமீபத்தில் என்னைக்கவர்ந்தது  திரைக்கவிஞர் கபிலனின் "குழந்தையருகே குரங்கைப் பயந்தேன்" என்ற வரியொன்று! இதை இயலாலோ, கூத்தாலோ விளக்குவதற்கு எத்தகைய முயற்சிவேண்டும்? முடியுமா என்பதே கேள்விதான்!