Cultural Inclusion

This month has been such an exposure to different cultures for me. It is very interesting to see how life shows you both sides of same aspect (similarities and differences or positive and negative) of life side by side. Always I have felt this. For example, whenever I was shown an example of men harassing wives, within a week or two, women creating issues for husbands would slap me on face. Strange but truth!! Not sure all of you have felt this ever?!?!

First week of October was an opportunity for me to see how cultures are converging at same point and how magnanimous people can be. Second and third week of October was a good learning for me about how people can misinterpret cultural inclusion.

I started my career in a great organization that opened my eyes towards other cultures. It had a mini India in my batch of trainees who joined on the same day (later I learnt that they do it intentionally to bring in sensitivity towards culture). We learnt so much of software development, soft skills, gender inclusion, cultural inclusion – within India and outside India, meaning of gestures in Japan, Europe, U.S. and so on. Funny, the way we nod our heads varies from country to country; the way we, the Indians nod our heads to indicate yes can never be understood by others J we move our head from one shoulder to the other - clockwise and counterclockwise. Please note it is not turning the head from shoulder to shoulder J

I think such training is needed for employees of all global companies – irrespective of experience levels – the companies should mandate such trainings. I feel it all the more in the past two weeks because of the way one of the senior persons managed a person from another country. This senior person (lets call him Mr. X in this article for ease of reference) was to host another senior person form another country (we would call him the visitor)

For obvious reasons, the visitor did not know many things about Indian food, cultural heritage though he had read many things already. You need to see certain things to learn it / feel it; any amount of documentation can never do that trick!! Mr X went on to explain Indian food and fed the visitor with some spicy Indian food. Thankfully nothing happened to him because of the spices.

Mr X showed his misunderstanding of culture inclusivity in a few occasions.  Looks like, his understanding is, to be culture inclusive, it is not enough if you appreciate the other culture but you need to degrade your own culture!!! He commented about old Indian architectural principles first; after sometime, he badmouthed Indian corporates for manipulating accounts; later he commented about Indian vehicles!!! I agree we definitely have a lot of scope for improvement; but it does not mean that our entire heritage is bad; our science behind the 2000/3000 year old buildings is bad; neither all Indian made vehicle are faulty; nor all the Indian corporates are dishonest while rest of the world is purest of pure!! By the way, he claims that he calls a spade a spade. What he does not understand is you should show your cards only when it is appropriate!!

For a few of his comments I gave counter arguments. But as you know, in front of the visitor, it is not good idea to fight with a senior person. I only wish we teach our employees what is meant by culture inclusion; more than that, I wish we teach people (even children) to respect every one irrespective of the color, race, language, education, wealth and appearance!! Lets make the world a better place to live by including people not by degrading anyone for any reason.

My trips Abroad

Though I am not a frequent traveler, I have travled to 3 other countries and made a total of 6/7 trips so far. It is interesting to observe how focus of my observations in all these trips changed over years and how they all finally arrive at same conclusions in spite of that.

When I traveled for first time to the US I was a young developer trying to establish myself. I was interacting with other programmers from other countries and other Indian states too. I used observe how they reacted to a change in requirements or a producton issue and what kind of dresses they wear or gadgets they have. It was very interesting see that mostly, the programmers reacted to requirement change / production issue pretty much the same way as me!!! However the gadgets they used and dresses they wore were different!!!

I made the next trip to UK (or series of trips were). I was a manager by then. I got chance to work with various nationals then too. My observation focus was how are the business problems solved or how people tried to expand the business and also what kind of food they ate & why. Interesting, business approach was pretty much the same but food changed drastically. Some drink/food considered as staple food by one country was considered as taboo in another!!

My latest trip to Australia was in 2012 October. I am a process consultant. Now too I got a chance to observe people from all over the globe (almost). My observation was on how people reacted to "Change" and how do they manage their families. Interesting!!! Almost all of them resisted change and managed their families in the same way. May be the sport they watched / played was different; may be the vacation spots they took their family were different; may be the classes they took their children to were different; but they watched / played; took families out for vacation and took children to classes. The language they spoke at home were different; their skin color, color of the eyeball and the clothing style were different; but all of them cared for families, wanted to be respected, loved and shared time with friends and families.

So my conclusion is people are the same when it comes to emotions and values of life. But what is still surprising to me is, why do we care so much about the color of skin, eyeball, hair, language, food we eat, the way we dress up!!! Though all cultures and relegions talk about the same values (be good and do good kind of stuff), why do we think that we are very different and superior than the others!!

Language I write in

In addition to my mother tongue Tamil, I can read and write in English. My blogs are in both the languages. Someone asked my how do I decide which language to be used for a particular topic. Till then I had not given any serious thought about it. I wrote them in the language I felt like; it appeared as if there is no rational behind the choice.

After this question was raised by my friend, I went thru all my blogs to see why I wrote in the language I wrote!! Initially I thought, if I wrote some heart touching event, I chose Tamil and if it is some general stuff, it was English. No, that is not correct.

Interestingly the trigger of the article had the clue. When the trigger occurred if I was hearing / thinking/talking in Tamil, then the article was in Tamil and it was English then the article too was in English.

For example, when I conceived my previous blog, I was watching Tamil news where I saw the sad faces of those who were relocating back to North eastern states; when first I thought of Leafful of rice, I was in a friend's wedding and language I was using (hearing and talking) was English.  I can precisely identify the reason for the choice of language for each of my articles!!

Interesting!!!

விடை கொடு எங்கள் நாடே

நேற்றைய ஹிந்து நாளிதழில் "கன்னத்தில் முத்தமிட்டால்" திரைப்படத்தைப் பற்றி ஒரு கட்டுரையில் குறிப்பிடப்பட்டிருந்தது. மாதவனும் சிம்ரனும் நடித்த படத்தில் ஒரு romantic duet பாடல் கூட இல்லாததால் இந்த படத்தை தனது தோழி மறுத்ததைக் குறித்த வருத்தம்  தொனித்தது அந்தக்கட்டுரையில். பிறந்த ஊரிலேயே வேலை பார்த்து, மணம் முடித்து, பிள்ளை பெற்று, வேறு ஊர்களுக்கு உல்லாசப் பயணம் மட்டுமே மேற்கொள்வோருக்கு அந்த வலி புரியாதுதான்.

நான் தென்தமிழ்நாட்டின் ஒரு சிறு கிராமத்தைச் சேர்ந்தவள்; வேலை நிமித்தம் தற்போது சென்னைவாசி. படிப்பிற்காக 1993 -லிருந்து வெளியூரில்தான் வாசம்.ஆனாலும், ஒவ்வொரு முறை தென்காசி ரயில்நிலையத்தை விட்டு ரயில் கிளம்புபோது இப்போதும் ஒரு வலி தொண்டையில் இருக்கிறது. இத்தனைக்கும் உயிருக்கோ வறுமைக்கோ பயந்து நான் புலம் பெயரவில்லை; என் பெற்றோர் நல்ல ஆரோக்யத்துடன் இருக்கிறார்கள்; நான் கவனிக்கவேண்டிய, பாதியில் விட்டுச்செல்லும் கடமை என்று ஏதுமில்லை; ஆனாலும் வயிற்றிலிருந்து தொண்டை வரை ஒரு வேதனை படரத்தான் செய்கிறது. இனி தென்காசியை நான் பார்க்கவே முடியாது என்ற நிலையில் நான் கிளம்பவேண்டியிருந்தால் எப்படி இருக்கும்? நினைக்கும் பொழுதே மனம் நடுங்கிப்போகிறது.

சென்னை வந்த புதிதில் என் வீட்டருகே தாயும் மகளுமாக இரு பெண்கள் குடியிருந்தனர். மிக அமைதியான முகங்கள் அவர்களுக்கு. மகள் computer வகுப்புக்குச் சென்று வருவாள். தாய் பெரும்பாலும் வெளியே எங்கும் செல்வதில்லை. இருவரும் பிறரிடம் அதிகம் பேசுவதில்லை. முதல் வருடம் தீபாவளிக்கு சில இனிப்புகளை அவர்களுக்கு எடுத்துச்சென்று வாழ்த்து சொன்னேன். அதன் பின்னர் அவர்கள் வழியில் கண்டால் சிரிப்பது என்று தொடங்கி அவர்கள் வீட்டுப் பண்டிகைக்கு இனிப்பு தருவது என்று நட்பு வளர்ந்தது. ஒரு நாள் அந்தப் பெண் தேங்காய்ப்பாலும் அரிசி மாவும் கலந்த இனிப்பு - தொதல் என்று பெயர் - கொண்டுவந்தாள். நான் சுவைப்பது அதுவே முதல் முறை. அது எப்படிச்செய்வது என்று கேட்டவுடன் அந்தப் பெண்களின் கண்களில் கண்ணீர்!! அவர்கள் இருவரும் இலங்கையைச் சேர்ந்தவர்கள், 400 ஏக்கர் நிலத்தில் தென்னந்தோப்புகளுக்கு நடுவிலிருந்த வீட்டிலிருந்தவர்கள். துப்பாக்கிச் சூட்டில் கணவனை இழந்து, நிலத்தையும் வீட்டையும் துறந்து 18 வயது மகளுடன் தாய் தனியாக வந்து வசிக்க வேண்டிய சூழல். மகளின் பிறந்தநாளுக்காக தொதல் செய்யும் போது அந்த அன்னைக்கு, தன் கணவனும், தென்னந்தோப்புகளும், வீடும் நினைவிலுறுத்தியதால் வழிந்த கண்ணீர் அது!! இந்தக் கண்ணீரின் வலி duet பாடல் தேடிய பெண் அறிவாளா என்பது கேள்விக்குறியே

வடகிழக்கு மாநிலங்களிலிருந்து தமிழகம் வந்து வேலை பார்க்கும் மனிதர்களின் முகங்களை கவனித்திருக்கிறீர்களா? அவற்றில் ஒரு சில முகங்களே அமைதியாக இருக்கின்றன. பெரும்பாலும் வேதனை, பயம், கலக்கம், குழப்பம் இவைதான் அந்த முகங்களில் தென்படுகின்றன. இவர்கள் வறுமைக்குப்பயந்து புலம் பெயர்ந்திருக்கக்கூடும். என்னைப்போல வேலைக்காகத்தான் சென்னை வந்திருக்கிறார்கள். ஆனால், நான் சென்னை வரும்போது என்ன வேலைக்கு வருகிறேன், என்ன கூலி, எங்கு வசிப்பு என்று பல விஷயங்கள் எனக்குத்தெரியும். சென்னையில் பேசப்படும் மொழி தெரியும். இவை ஏதுமறியாமல், வேறு வழியின்றி ஒரு ஊருக்குச்செல்வது துறவிகளுக்கு வேண்டுமானால் எளிதாயிருக்கலாம். சாமானியர்களுக்கு இது மாபெரும் வலி.

இந்த வலி புரியவில்லையென்றால் "விடை கொடு எங்கள் நாடே" என்று புலம் பெயரும் மக்களின் குரலாக ஒரு பாடல் "கன்னத்தில் முத்தமிட்டால்" திரைப்படத்தில் வரும்; உயிரை உருக்கும் பாடல்!!! படத்தைப்பார்க்கவில்லையென்றாலும் பாடலையாவது கேளுங்கள். அதன் பின் புலம் பெயர்ந்த மக்களின் முகங்களைக் கவனியுங்கள்; அவர்கள் அனைவரும் தமிழகத்தில் கொள்ளையிட வந்தவர்கள் என்ற நோக்கில் இல்லாமல், எதற்கோ அஞ்சி வாழ்வு தேடி அமைதி தேடி வந்தவர்கள் என்ற நோக்கில் அவர்களைக் கவனியுங்கள், அணுகுங்கள். வந்தாரை வாழ வைத்த தேசமிது!!! அந்த மரபைத் தொலைக்காமல் கட்டிக்காப்போம்!!! கட்டிக் காக்காவிடிலும் வெட்டிச் சாய்க்காமலாவது இருப்போம்!!!

A Leafful of rice

One of my friends got married last week. I was all excited to attend the wedding, as it was a long pending, long awaited wedding. She is a nice person, helpful to all those who knows her, very sincere to the work and intelligent to crack most of the business problems!! What else would you look for in a person, anyway!!! It had been about 5 years since I met her as both of us moved to different companies, roles and countries. So, I was thrilled when she called me to invite for the wedding.

I could meet most of my old friends in the wedding. Like any other Indian weddings, this one was also full of colours and rituals. I enjoyed every bit of it. Then came the turning point. We went to the dining hall. They had already served (it was only about 30% of the menu, I learnt later) on the banana leaf. I was shocked to see the items – not that they are not edible or served in a manner to hurt people or the taste was bad – but because the number of items was too much for anyone to eat – there were 5 varieties of sweets including lychee fruit peeled marinated in Malai, 4 varieties of chutney, 3 varieties of vegetables, 2 varieties of papad, one appam, one dosai, one Nan, one chappati, half a spring role, some noodles were already served on the leaves How can someone eat so many items in one shot!!! While I was struggling to finish these items, the servers came with the next set of items…. For all of them I said no – it would have been another 60-70% items - if I list all of them, you would be wondering if I am reading the menu card of a hotel!!! Most of us left a lot of food on the leaf. The food wasted by each of us would easily serve two more persons!!! I felt so hard to digest this fact. How can we waste so much food? Especially in an year where there is not enough rains and food production is expected to be hit!!!

Do you know what was my gift to her? Incidentally, it was a book called “A fistful of rice” – a book on using micro finance to help eliminating poverty from India – the book starts like this – when I saw the woman carefully collecting the few grains that were spilt on the ground (which would have been just swept by my aunt otherwise) the poverty struck me!!! I chose this book for my  friend as she is an MBA in finance and I thought a capitalist idea helping a social cause would be a different concept for a finance expert to read thru. I had given the gift to her before I visited the dining hall. Now I am wondering, if it was an unintentional offence to her and how would she feel when she reads it (of course after a few weeks or months)

Giving a word or commitment

Way back in August 2009, I wrote a blog on commitments. After about 10 days less than three years, I am thinking about the same subject… You see, the TJ part of my personality (that swings between INTJ and ESTJ) stays intact in spite of my conscious effort to reduce the J part of it!!!! J

I am currently working on a project where there are a group of “volunteers” are working on creating a product that has a social impact (of course commercial impact eventually). I have been observing all those working in this project… This is an interesting mix of people around the globe, with various interests, benefits out of this project ranging from no benefit to indirect benefit to direct benefit. We use a simple technique where, each person informs the others about their availability (hours per day and which days of the week) at the start of the week; or at least that is how we started. Our model was flexible enough to change your plan in the middle of the week. After all, we work for an industry that never considers work-life balance as a basic requirement of a human being (Yes, you guessed it right J it is IT industry), so we had to give this flexibility. All they need to do is, inform others that they are not available and provide the update on the progress in an email. But, did every one follow this, did they deliver what they committed to are two big questions!!!

Today a part of the product is ready be launched after about three months. When I look back, conclusion I am arriving at is, if someone thinks that they are doing a favour, they change their minds any time; but if someone thinks that it is their responsibility, they deliver, come what may.

Another link I am observing is between the benefits and commitment shown by the members. Commitment is proportional to the benefit… benefit has to be perceived first to trigger commitment. What they do not realise is commitment only can command benefit and not the other way round.

Earlier in 2009, I was thinking I thought it has something to do with the industry they work. It does not seem to be so.  My opinion may change again!!!

Unforced Errors

I have been watching Tennis, Shuttle cork and the like from my teenage (did not have TV before that). The phrase unforced errors keeps getting repeated in these games. It actually means that the player sent the ball out or served wrong though he/she was not pushed to do that.

On the day of Wimbledon finals this year, this phrase struck me like never before; it keeps ringing in my ears constantly. How many unforced errors we do daily, that reduce our performance and ultimately our ability win the game of life!!! The justifications we give, the stories we build for these justifications, the mistrust that gets created because of these stories, the procrastination, obsessions… the list goes on. We do this so much that we do not even realise that these are unforced errors

The count of unforced errors the players make is tracked by software designed for the purpose. I wonder, in our lives, how can we identify and count them!!! If we can’t even measure them, how are we going to reduce them!!!